You have box
seats, sunny skies and the winningest government team ever is on the field. Their
brochure even shows how they win, but no one cares. The grandstands are full of
fair weather fans who just want autographs on checks the team freely hands out
when they win. What could be better?
First, let’s see how the team wins.
In the Old West, robbers robbed banks. Now under the new “Bail-In” program, the banks can rob you. You can’t rob banks, if insolvent, and would go directly to jail if you tried.
First, let’s see how the team wins.
Banking Team
In the Old West, robbers robbed banks. Now under the new “Bail-In” program, the banks can rob you. You can’t rob banks, if insolvent, and would go directly to jail if you tried.
The new purpose of investment banks is to safely hold your investments until they need it. It’s the all new “Robin-Hood-in-Reverse” plan!
Central Banks can “restructure” holdings in their favor. You can’t and have great difficulty understanding the fine art of “restructuring”.
Full (of it) Employment Team
The economy is chugging along at reduced unemployment levels by not counting everyone that is actually unemployed or working part time. Who needs to count lazy people?
A huge number of tree cutter and printing jobs have been posted. These growth opportunities allow the PTB to print money, send out announcements and paper things over.
There are lots of openings at the Treasury Department for economic energizer bunnies, socialists and naïve nitwits. Under the code name Titanic, these high paying jobs purpose is to to sink the savings lifeboats.
Employment can also be had at the new “Information Formation System”, better known as “IFS”, where cushy jobs writing positive propaganda articles are available.
There are also jobs available in the Constitution Department for shredding duties.
Regrettably, security guard openings for vaults have been discontinued due to running out of gold. Anyway, who needs guards for pet rocks?
Current debt exceeds the GDP but that’s ok too since we don't count future unfunded liabilities either. It's the all new “Deep Storage” accounting method, just like for gold.
Regrettably, security guard openings for vaults have been discontinued due to running out of gold. Anyway, who needs guards for pet rocks?
New Economy Team
Current debt exceeds the GDP but that’s ok too since we don't count future unfunded liabilities either. It's the all new “Deep Storage” accounting method, just like for gold.
Interest rates are so low we can easily borrow our way to prosperity, pay for programs we don’t need and buy stuff we won’t use. Luxuries are now affordable!
In time, our interest expense will exceed the entire budget, but that's a big kick in the can down the road.
Increased income from new taxes shows the budget deficit being reduced by 10%. How reassuring!
Only 15% of the population is on food stamps. This is great news. The rest can eat cake!
Money Team
Since they own the only printing press, creating unlimited amounts of money to pay bills is feasible. You can’t because counterfeiting is illegal and jail time is involved.
They can rob Peter’s account to pay Paul’s account. You can’t because Peter has run out of money.
Any peasant payment problem is solved with periodic pleasant presents of cash. "Modern Monetary Theory" is now a proven problem solver. What a relief!
Market Team
All major markets are properly "managed" for your benefit. You can’t and would be found guilty of market manipulation if you did.
Stock markets are jacked higher to assure everyone that happy days are here again. Casino losses are a distant memory from the past.
The S&P500 has a very high PE ratio. That means optimism is high, all is well and the future is brighter.
Team Scoreboard
Box Score - Government 20, Citizen 0.
Good news! The government has discovered the Holy Grail of winning and can
postpone any possible loss for a very long period of time. An amazing record!
Now, it’s the ninth inning and nothing could go
wrong here. Right?
Check left field.
Trader Garrett
Updated 2021
Related: Day of Reckoning
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Caveat
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