Myths, Moonshots & Moonshine

Myths, Moonshots & Moonshine

Everyone wants to know the future. Of course, if you did know the future, you would only be a robot fulfilling a plan. But that is a mere side issue. There is a better way! 

Straight from the myth monster’s mouth, I have collected 4 of the more popular predictions so you can carefully plan your bright future. There is no turning back now.

Your Future Headlines

• Next month, China is scheduled to announce their current gold reserves. These will be totaled together with the US and the rest of the world’s gold reserves. When the grand total exceeds all the gold historically mined, it will be assumed the US is lying. As a result, gold will do a giant moonshot and we all will be rich!
• There is indeed a giant asteroid “Nabiru” coming (BTW it's been scheduled for years) which will impact earth on July 4th. If it falls on land, it will obliterate a couple of countries. If it falls in the Atlantic, it will create a giant tsunami which will make Noah’s flood look like a splash in a swimming pool.
• Regrettably, astronomers now say it will miss the earth by a wide margin. What a relief!
• On July 27th, the world will end. This announcement is largely based on various decoded Bible texts and the “Ghost Month” on the Chinese calendar. You should donate any gold you have left to this organization for its expenses in bringing everyone this final message. Of course!
• We are on the verge of financial disaster and gold will do a moonshot any day now because income does not meet expenses and servicing total debt is far beyond our means. 
• You also missed the earliest “end of the world prediction” from ancient Assyrian tablets in 28 BC. Sorry about that.

These all rank right up there with my piece on the Mayan Mayhem Prophecy where we were asked to believe the Mayan predictions for December 21, 2012 when they could not even forecast their own demise.

Not sure what moonshine these people were drinking.

In Conclusion - My Three Predictions

• There is a strong probability that more false predictions will occur from those who need a short shelf life of notoriety, have questionable items for sale or who have drank their own moonshine.

• The only thing more certain (besides death and taxes) is that we cannot mathematically payoff our debts. Let’s see. Out of common courtesy, everyone should help out by donating their gold to Ft. Knox.

• I predict that tomorrow the sun will come up in the east, birds will chirp, and yawns will occur with a probability bordering on certainty. How reassuring!

Enjoy your future, while it lasts.

2014