Warning - The New "F" Words

"Analysts say that future flimflams, fatal flaws and 

flimsy facts are a fast fading fad". 

- Trader Garrett

Over at the R&D Department, the boneheads there didn't get the memo on permanent peace, prosperity and progress. 

Instead, they came up with more half baked

and hare-brain schemes to help everyone achieve success and live happily ever after, in a world of chaos no less.

Since everyone agrees... 

• Toilet paper is the new reserve currency (no buts about it)
• Inflation is "transitory"
• Most everyone is underemployed
• We can't pay our debts
• No one is buying our bonds
• Banks are toast
• The markets will crash soon (again)
• We are near a depression 
• Cash will disappear but viruses won't

They have a solution which is such a relief!

Under these conditions, precious metals are going to do a moonshot any day now. But don't buy bullion because the government will be coming for your stash buried in the backyard, under your bed or in Switzerland.

Instead, we should simply buy every gold or silver stock alive. If no volume, make an appointment, if necessary.

Also, invest in companies making face masks, tape measures for social distancing and booster shots.

They are adamant this two part program will work and help everyone out of any chaos.

Program Review

They gave it to our editor to review who said, "This financial stuff is way over my head".

In response, they told her to "Keep looking up". Hmmm...

I think I hear helicopters in the distance.

The New "F" Words

Let's add "foolish, foolhardy and folly" to the equation. Someone needs to bury this where the sun don't shine.

But don't take my word for it. Remember these are the same characters who came up with these timely treasures here: 

• Top Secret Bullion, Brilliance & Beehives 
• Einstein's Gold 
• All is Fair 

Not exactly reassuring credentials.

Please don't tell TG. He's busy building submersible Atlantis trading clocks or some other oddball maneuver.

LOL!

Updated 2021

Related: Market Humor