Oh Really?

"Analysts say that future flimflams, fatal flaws and flimsy facts are a fast fading fad". - Trader Garrett 

Oh Really?

Here are some real bargain basement outlooks that are the greatest thing since indoor plumbing. 

One nutcase says we are going to $10,000 gold but one should only have 10% of your net assets in gold. Excuse me, if you are really certain we are going that high, a 10% allocation does not make any logical sense, now does it? 

A former minister who somehow squeezed inside information from elites on their deathbeds has been wrong on the dollar collapse for 5+ years. Am sure glad he has been wrong for so long otherwise I would have missed the moon shot madness. What a relief!

In 2017, another well known character said we were going to $2000 gold due to some mysterious 264 year old British cycle now delayed but not forgotten. How timely! 

Where do I sign up? 


More Questions Than Answers


“A Spring rally is just around the bend”. 

Oh really! Which bend in the road would that be? The one near that cliff?

“I feel the S&P500 trend will turn up shortly”. 

Oh really? On the basis of what feeling would that be? All longer primary trends are down and this is a classic configuration of a bear trend. Ooops!

“All the wonderful fundamentals are in place and market sentiment is in the basement.” 

No kidding! Why are there still more sellers than buyers present?


“I am a contrarian and buy low”.

Oh really, how interesting! Excuse me, how do you define “low”?

“I am a value investor”. 

Oh really! I get it. That is the fine art of buying low and selling lower, isn’t it?

“We will never see $1800 gold again as we skyrocket to $5000”. 

Oh really? Have you considered that you may not see $1800 again because it’s now lost in the clouds above you which are now dumping buckets of rain on your parade?


Conclusion

Now I see why we have such few people interested this gold mine with the rest sleeping or hiking on by to more golden pastures. Helping people help themselves is really dumb. It tells me we don't need proof of predictions, just profound promises of profit.
 
Regrettably, there are no outlandish forecasts either, just boring mathematical time frame clock trends and formulas in harmony with nature and human behavior. 

My error. I need to reform quickly, make some wild predictions and mooch off the masses rather than presenting free facts!

Oh really?


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Myths, Moonshots & Moonshine

Everyone wants to know the future. Of course, if you did know the future, you would only be a robot fulfilling a plan. But that is a mere side issue. There is a better way! 

Straight from the myth monster’s mouth, I have collected 4 of the more popular predictions so you can carefully plan your bright future. There is no turning back now.

Your Future Headlines

  • Next month, China is scheduled to announce their current gold reserves. These will be totaled together with the US and the rest of the world’s gold reserves. When the grand total exceeds all the gold historically mined, it will be assumed the US is lying. As a result, gold will do a giant moonshot and we all will be rich!
  • There is indeed a giant asteroid “Nabiru” coming (BTW it's been scheduled for years) which will impact earth on July 4th. If it falls on land, it will obliterate a couple of countries. If it falls in the Atlantic, it will create a giant tsunami which will make Noah’s flood look like a swimming pool splash.
  • Regrettably, astronomers now say it will miss the earth by a wide margin. What a relief!
  • On July 27th, the world will end. This announcement is largely based on various decoded Bible texts and the “Ghost Month” on the Chinese calendar. You should donate any gold you have left to this organization for its expenses in bringing everyone this final message. Of course!
  • We are on verge of financial disaster and gold will make a huge leap upward any day now because income does not meet expenses and total debt is far beyond our means. Unfortunately, a crisis of confidence has not occurred and the government has a minimum of 14 delaying tactics, of which only 9 have occurred. This is very comforting news to all the procrastinators!

You also missed the earliest “end of the world prediction” from ancient Assyrian tablets in 28 BC

Sorry about that.

These all rank right up there with my piece on the Mayan Mayhem Prophecy where we were asked to believe the Mayan predictions for December 21, 2012 when they could not even forecast their own demise.

In Conclusion - My Three Predictions

  • There is a strong probability that more false predictions will occur from those who need a short shelf life of notoriety, have questionable items for sale or who have drank their own moonshine.

  • The only thing more certain (besides death and taxes) is that we cannot mathematically payoff our debts. Let’s see. Out of common courtesy, everyone should help out by donating their gold to Ft. Knox.

  • I predict that tomorrow the sun will come up in the east, birds will chirp, and yawns will occur with a probability bordering on certainty. How reassuring!

Enjoy your future, while it lasts.

2014

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